Straight Talk

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Comment by Cory Howell on July 20, 2009 at 9:37am

Just a couple thoughts, after looking at some of the posts on this group.

First of all, I think it's good to have a place where Christians can talk directly about these kinds of issues, without feeling like they are automatically going to be attacked. Thanks for starting this group.

Second, I have heard all kinds of arguments for why so many Christians are getting divorced: adultery, other sexual sin, abuse, oppressive spouse, etc. But personally, the majority of cases of Christian divorces I've seen have not been over large issues like this. Rather, it seems to me that a large number of Christians have gotten divorced because they weren't happy in their marriages, and they believed "God wants me to be happy." I don't find that the Bible (or most of Church tradition) condones this kind of divorce.

Meanwhile, while Christians all over America continue to crusade against gay marriage, where are the Christians who are crusading against divorce? Now, just about every time I've mentioned this in a public Christian forum (online, Sunday School, what have you) other Christians have said, "Those two things are not the same issue." That may well be the case, but while we expend all kinds of energy on saving our the American family from the "evil of gay marriage," divorce is tearing American families apart. I wrote Focus on the Family a couple years ago about this very issue, and they assured me that they took divorce very seriously. But think about this: when's the last time you heard someone suggesting a constitutional ban on divorce? When's the last time you saw a group of Christians picketing about high divorce rates? I question our priorities.

Finally, I would like to make it clear that I have no wish to sweep any issue of sin under the rug. On the contrary, my brother's marriage was destroyed by his wife deciding she had become a lesbian. So I am personally familiar with how homosexuality can contribute to the destruction of a relationship. Alcoholism, financial mismanagement, gambling, pornography, abuse, the list of things that can damage (or destroy) a family is a long one. But I feel that Christians should be leading the way in showing the world how strong marriages can be, and the fact is this: the Christian divorce rate is exactly the same as just about every other demographic group. One in two marriages end in divorce, whether Christian or not. I feel that this is, quite simply, shameful. We need to address these issues head on, just as this group is doing. Thanks for reading...

Comment by David Oldham on June 27, 2008 at 11:08am

Christians need to strive to have the best marriages that they can for many reasons. These aren't in any specific order than off the top of my head, but our marriages are the picture of Christ and the church. Bad marriages are a distraction from one's personal walk with the Lord. Strife, anger, loneliness are all things that Satan can and will use to tear your marriage apart. If the marriage is torn apart, so is the family and so are the kids.

There is, statically, the same number of divorces Christian or not! Do we Christians look like Christ to the world? If we look like the world, love like the world, value people like the world, looking no different than the world, why on earth would anybody be drawn to Christ?

Our marriages are important. The love and commitment to your spouse is important and to say otherwise is to love yourself more than others. Remember we're to love others as ourselves. God will honor the marriage if the marriage honors Him. Your children will appreciate the love shown and shared between their parents.

I've become acquaintances with a couple who were divorced for nine years and God brought them back together and now they serve in a volunteer ministry together helping others to strengthen their marriages.

If you want to see a difference in your marriage, if there is a "Weekend to Remember" coming to a city near you, GO TO IT! Don't be too proud. Going doesn't mean you have a bad marriage. Going actually shows how much you value your spouse and your marriage and that can only lead to good things!

Comment by Apolojedi (Daniel Eaton) on June 17, 2008 at 10:17am

I'd think that GOOD marriages are the goal. You can be a Christian and not achieve that goal, just like any other. I think that if you are a pastor or deacon or some other church leader where you are setting an example, it is important that you have a good marriage.

Comment by Leslie Jebaraj on June 17, 2008 at 12:03am

Do Christians need to have great marriages? Is something wrong if we don't?

Thoughts?